


U&I #jjongsmonth fic

by Tamatoa_SHINee



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, jjongsmonth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 14:04:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamatoa_SHINee/pseuds/Tamatoa_SHINee
Summary: A jongyu post-war au/ fantasy auJust a short fic I made for #jjongsmonthSetting & char. descriptions in notes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Setting:  The Order, a large organization responsible for experimenting on humans to create an indestructible army, has fallen apart after years of war.  Novus, the kingdom under The Order has been divided up by the leaders of bordering lands, leaving thousands of people without a home.  Although most of the soldiers under The Order were killed in combat, some have banned together hoping to find a place to settle down.  The group has gone months untouched by other lands.  They understand the former soldiers mean well, but so far no country has allowed them to stay.  So the caravan has had to travel in search of a country that will accept them.
> 
> Profiles: Jinki, part of the group of experimental soldiers, was released from The Order long before the war ended.  He was considered a malfunction seeing as he developed his own personality and the organization was never able to have mind control over him.  Jonghyun is a natural-born weapon exploited by The Order.  His powers were found out at a very young age due to the amount of incidences surrounding it.  The Order took him from an orphanage and used him to their liking.  The rest of the caravan are unaware of what his powers are, but they know he is responsible for many deaths and they are distrustful of him and where he stands.

"Look at him over there.. that freak.  Who even allowed him to come with us this far?"

"It's disgusting.  We were victims of The Order, used against our will.  He was never experimented on.  All those people dead..  We should turn him in."

"That's what I'm thinking.  He's a danger to all of us.  His rightful place is in the dungeon with the rest of the war criminals."

The white-haired man walking in the back could hear every word the soldiers were saying.  He tilted his head forward slightly so that the hood of his cloak shadowed his face.  He would prefer to avoid any conflict, but would easily end this if necessary.  By the way the soldiers were glaring at him as they slowed their stride, the first option seemed less likely.  Jonghyun unfolded his arms, preparing himself for what was to come.  He and the other men had stopped walking, leaving the caravan to continue on meters away.  There were few who looked back and another soldier even stopped to turn around to join the others in front of Jonghyun. The white-haired man sighed, did they all feel he didn't belong?  To be unwelcome was a feeling all too familiar to him.  A voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"Hey freak.  You've leeched off of us long enough.  Your journey stops here.  We'll let you off easy, but if you take one step in our direction.. you're dead.  Do you understand?"

"Am I not a displaced citizen of Novus? Are we not the same?"

"I don't care what you are beast.  You are nothing like us.  We were used against our will, we had no choice."

"And I did?" Jonghyun was shaking with fury.  "How dare you assume any of this was my choice."

The soldiers sensed the spike in Jonghyun's mood and unsheathed their swords and daggers.  The soldier who joined them last watched the situation silently, gripping the hilt of his still-sheathed sword.   
"Just stay here freak."  The acting leader of the antagonists commanded as he started backing away.  The rest of the group started to follow, still wary of Jonghyun.  They'd said their piece and wanted to quickly return to the caravan.

Jonghyun only let them get so far before he stepped forward as well.  The soldiers halted in their movements and made towards the cloaked man.

"We warned you."  The leader spit.  Jonghyun dropped his hood and shot his hands out, preparing for a fight.  The leader swung his sword but it was quickly blocked by another.  Silence ran over the group as they watched the stand off between the leader and the last soldier to join the group.  "What are you doing?  You're one of us."

"So is he."

"Do you know how many he's killed?"

"I do not, nor do I know the amount of blood on your hands."  The leader showed no sign of backing off so he continued, "We are all we have, all that's left of Novus.  Why battle one another?  Haven't we lost enough?"

The leader's arms shook under the pressure of the other's sword.  He yielded and stepped back. "He'll be the death of us all.  We can't trust him.  If we let him join us.."

"You can't know that.  He's a victim like all of us."

"This will be on you soldier."  The leader said with a grimace as he walked in the direction of the long gone caravan.  The other soldiers of the group looked a bit lost but still managed to shoot dirty looks at the two remaining men before following their leader.

Once the others were off Jonghyun spoke.  "Why did you get involved?" He was shaking as he looked at the backs of his antagonizers.  "I could have handled it myself."

"That doesn't mean you wanted to."

The soft tone of the other made Jonghyun look at him.  He was met with wide, gentle eyes.

"I'm Jinki by the way." The other man smiled softly while reaching his hand out.

Jonghyun spared it no glance as he turned and walked away.

Jinki looked down at his suspended limb before awkwardly sheathing his sword and following after the white-haired man.

-  
-

The caravan was deemed too large, therefore, too intimidating.  So the dozens of soldiers decided it would be best to split up into small groups and scatter.  Jonghyun decided to go with the group headed towards the south.  It has less people which hopefully meant less hostility.  Unfortunately the soldier who 'saved' him joined this group as well.  Jonghyun felt as if he had developed another shadow.

The group of about 20 was camped out for the night.  Jonghyun sat to the far side, barely close enough to feel the warmth of the camp fire.  He pulled his cloak tighter around himself as he stared at the ground, he was so tired but he planned on sleeping once everyone else did.  He couldn't take the chance of being slayed in his sleep, or worse, left alone.  The smell of cooked meat invaded his senses causing his stomach to rumble.  His vision of the ground was interrupted by an impaled animal on a stick.  His eyes travelled up the arm holding the cooked piece of meat only to be met with a small smile on the face of his 'second shadow.'

"I thought you might be hungry." Jinki whispered.

Jonghyun ignored him and looked back towards the ground, making sure to avoid the mouth-watering sight of cooked food.

"It's okay you know?  I already ate so.."  When it became clear to Jinki that the other wasn't going to respond he balanced the stick against a prone log so that the meat didn't touch the ground.  Jinki then stood up and walked a few feet away to lay closer to the camp fire.  He felt disappointed that it was another day without getting closer to the other, but he didn't plan on giving up.  
He smiled to himself when he heard the soft sounds of someone eating quietly behind him.

-  
-

After weeks of relative silence, some members of the group wondered if Jonghyun really was a threat to them or not.  Jinki watched as one of the younger soldiers approached Jonghyun with a canteen of water.  The white-haired man, always one to keep to himself, was unaware of the approaching offering.  So when a hand was placed on his shoulder, Jinki observed as the man jumped away and shouted at the young soldier.

"Don't fucking touch me!"  Jonghyun cursed at the young boy.  "Do you want to die?"  His gut twisted at the expression on the soldier's face as he fearfully shook his head.  Jonghyun watched as the young man returned to the other soldiers, once again every look aimed at him was fully of spite.  If possible, he walked even further away from the troop to sit on the outskirts of the camp.  It hurt to be hated, but it was necessary.

After throwing a pitiful glance towards his fellow soldiers, Jinki walked over to the white-haired man.  "He meant no harm you know?  I watched the whole thing, he just wanted to give you some water."

"I don't care." he growled. "It's best for everyone to stay away from me."  He glared up at the other, hoping he'd take a hint.  His hope was in vain seeing as Jinki chose to sit down next to him instead.  

"Is that what you truly believe?"

"It's what I know.  The day you interfered between me and those other soldiers.. I'm sure you heard what they said.  I was never experimented on.  The Order used me to kill with the powers I already had.  That's why I'm a monster."

"You forget I was a soldier of Novus too.  They have their ways.  Mind control, threats, torture.. I'm sure it wasn't your choice."

"And yet, it still happened."

"I'm not denying that it did, but I wish you'd remember that it's over.  You have control of your own powers.  You are free, never to be used or isolated again. You're here with us.. so join us.  Let the others know they don't have to be afraid of you."

Jonghyun face twisted in disgust, "They have every reason to be.  I wish you'd back off too.  I'm not what you think.  My powers aren't what you think."

"Then what are they?"

Jonghyun sighed and shook his head, hopefully Jinki would leave him alone once he knew.  "Anyone I touch- Everyone I touch.. they die."  He unfolded his arms and looked down at his hands.  "Any part of my body that comes in contact with another being, it kills them."  Jonghyun dropped his hands and looked up at Jinki.  "My first victim was my mother.. as soon as I was born."

Jinki pondered on what was just said.  The white-haired man had the touch of death.  This also meant Jonghyun was trying to protect the young soldier by keeping him away.  He wasn't being hateful, he was afraid for him.  "I'm so sorry Jonghyun.  I can't imagine what this has been like for you."

Jonghyun's brows scrunched in confusion, this isn't the response he was expecting.

"But don't you think we could all get along despite it?"

"Jinki.  I don't know how well one would get along with someone whose touch literally stops their heart."

The taller man huffed still trying his best to be optimistic.  "Wait- 'stops their heart'?  That's what your power does?  It stops someone's heart?"

"Yes?"

"It doesn't give you a disease or poisons you.. or sucks the life out of you.. It just stops someone's heart?"

"Yes.. but I don't see how that-"  Jonghyun was cut off from the shock of Jinki grabbing his hand.  He tried to yank it out of his grasp but the other man tightened his hold.  "Jinki please stop!" He pleaded, but the other remained firm.  The look on the soldier's face was contemplative and then proud.  This confused Jonghyun but he stopped his struggling.  It was too late, usually by now the person he touched would be- "What-"

"Ever since the experiments on me.. my heart has been still.  It hasn't pumped in seven years."  

Jonghyun looked down at their joined hands.  "This is not possible."

Jinki smiled at the other's shocked expression and lifted their interlocked hands, "Now you don't have to be afraid."


	2. Chapter 2

It's been days and Jonghyun still couldn't believe it.  It is possible for him to have contact, real human-contact.. skin-to-skin contact, without it ending in death.  After the initial touch, Jonghyun would've thought it just a dream if not for Jinki using every opportunity to remind him it wasn't.  The soldier had enough courtesy not to blatantly touch Jonghyun without permission, but he never missed the chance to slightly brush their fingers together whenever he passed something to the white-haired man.  Jonghyun flinched every time.

Although Jinki had enough respect to not grab Jonghyun -or his hands- again, the smaller man felt the presence of his 'second shadow' now more than ever.  The man wouldn't give up, constantly offering food or trying to strike up conversations, trying to bring Jonghyun into group discussions, or advocating on his behalf.. it was all so- "Annoying."  Jonghyun muttered.

"Sorry?"  Jinki scooted closer to the man.  They were seated by the second campfire that Jinki struck up so Jonghyun could be 'warm as well.'  Everyone else was either already asleep or quietly  speaking in small groups.  The two men were far enough away for their conversation not to be heard.  "I didn't catch that."  The taller man smiled.

"You're annoying." he glared at the other, noticing that nearly-permanent smile falter slightly.  "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

Jinki watched as the other clutched his sleeves tighter, always hiding his hands, and looked back to the fire.  "I just-" Jinki sighed and looked to the fire as well. "Haven't you had enough of that?.. Being alone, I mean?"

Jonghyun's brows trembled slightly and he ducked his head so that his hood covered more of his face.  Why couldn't Jinki give up?  'There's nothing special about me.' he thought.  'I'm not worth it.' he wanted to say, but somehow he felt that would hurt even more if the other man agreed.  Jonghyun furrowed his brows as he pushed away that stray thought.  "Just because you can't die from my touch, doesn't mean I can't kill you."  Jonghyun meant it as a threat and when he looked to the other just to see the older man shrug his shoulders, his anger swelled.

"You wouldn't do that.  I don't think you're that type of person."

"You don't know me."

Jinki looked to the small man again and was met with frantic eyes.

"You don't know me Jinki. What could you possibly want from me?"

He never gave himself the chance to question why, exactly, he was drawn to the other, but as soon as the question was asked, the answer immediately popped into Jinki's mind.  His eyes widened and his ears reddened as he looked away.  He could feel his face heat up a the thought.

Jonghyun watched the expression change on the other man's face and his stomach turned, what could possibly make him so embarrassed.  'Typical.' Jonghyun thought.  Jinki was no different from the rest.  Everyone always wanted something of him.

Jinki faltered slightly as he tried to speak up, "I-," he cleared his throat, which felt unbearably tight.  "I want.. to hold your hand."  His voice but a whisper by the time he finished answering.  Jinki had to physically shake his head, as if it would shake away the embarrassment he felt as well.

Jonghyun could do nothing but stare at the other in mild shock.  'It's not possible for someone to be so innocent.' he thought.  But by the way the other was wringing his hands and still blushing terribly, he knew it to be true.

Jinki was still looking down as he continued, "I want that.  A- and I want to show the others you are not to be feared.  I know I keep bothering you," he said quietly, "but I don't mean to.  I'm just so curious about you, so if you tell me it's okay to stay with you.. I would like that very much.  If you tell me to go away, I will go.  Despite how I feel, I will respect that, but I won't stop protecting you and defending you,"  Jinki looked up then and turned towards Jonghyun. "Because I want the others to believe you and believe in you like I do."

Jonghyun's heart was beating erratically. Just who was this man to speak to him this way.  Jonghyun felt so confused.  He furrowed his brows, glaring at Jinki and shaking his head before turning away.  Jonghyun stared at the fire and pulled his hood down even more.

If Jinki's heart still beat, he'd imagine it would cease at this moment.  He'd felt embarrassed speaking about his feelings, but compared to the pain of having them shut down, that embarrassment was irrelevant.  He thought he'd found a kindred spirit with the other since they both knew what it felt like to be unwanted.  He shook his head, trying not to think on it anymore.  "Of course." he smiled sadly, "I'm sorry.  I understand." He said in a rush as he stood up and dusted himself off.  Jinki didn't spare the sitting man another glace, not wanting to bother him any longer.

-  
-

The next night, the group decided to continue trekking through the forest, forgoing setting up camp.  Mostly everyone had gotten enough rest, so no complaints were voiced as they walked through the darkness.  There were even cheery conversations going on as the group passed around jokes and jabs.  Breaking the caravan down had allowed for more personal relationships to form, hence the feeling of genuine camaraderie spreading throughout the group.

Jinki walked at the back of the party.  He was close enough to smile at each joke he heard now and again, but far enough so that the man behind everyone didn't feel too alone.  Jinki had kept his promise and instead of offering Jonghyun water or food as soon as the white-haired man woke up, he simply left the items next to him while he slept.  Jinki didn't attempt to strike up conversation, but he didn't totally ignore him either.  He was torn.  He wanted to join the others and be cheery, but he didn't want to leave the other by himself.  Jinki sighed.  His chest hurt.  He continued to trudge along but was startled when he felt a cold hand grab his.

"Keep looking ahead." a harsh whisper sounded behind Jinki.  "Don't acknowledge it or I'm letting go."  Jonghyun's voice may have sounded stern, but in actuality he was trembling.  He wondered if his palms were sweaty, but that thought went away when Jinki gripped his hand tighter.  Jonghyun brought his other hand up and covered the back of Jinki's.  He was so unused to human touch.

Jinki stayed as quiet as possible.  Both of the small man's hands cupped his.  Jinki was so shocked, but a feeling of unbelievable happiness bubbled up inside of him.  He wanted to abide by Jonghyun's wishes and not draw attention to the pair in the back, but he couldn't help the wide smile stretching across his face.

Jonghyun watched with worried brows as the man to his left smiled brightly.  He only had a sideview, but that was enough for Jonghyun to see how happy this made the other.  Jonghyun just didn't understand why Jinki was so pleased by this, he also didn't understand why he seemed to be as well.  His face warmed and he inched closer to Jinki to press it to the back of his arm.  

"I just don't understand." he whispered softly.


	3. Chapter 3

Jinki smiled as he felt Jonghyun lightly tracing the skin around his ankle.  They were a ways away from the campsite, basking in the sun at a nearby lake.  It was Jinki's idea to wake the other up before everyone else, so Jonghyun could be more comfortable with his newfound interest; caressing Jinki's skin.  His giggle made the other halt.

"What?"  Jonghyun snapped as he sat up.

Jinki raised up off of his back to face the other.  "Nothing." He cheesed.

Jonghyun looked away from Jinki's smile, he still couldn't get used to such an expression being aimed towards him.  Especially from one so endearing.  Jonghyun looked down at his hands as Jinki scooted closer until their crossed legs touched at the knees.  He could hear the other's quiet breathing, he wondered why he was so afraid to look up.  "Jinki." he whispered.  "I want to try something okay?"  Jonghyun nervously met the other's eyes.  "Tell me if it hurts. No- tell me if you feel anything at all. Okay?"

Jinki wanted to dismiss what the other said, but Jonghyun's panicked expression made him hold his tongue.  Instead, he nodded in agreement, patiently waiting for what the other was going to do.  

Jonghyun nervously brought his hands up to either side of Jinki's face.  He was still hesitant after all this time, that's what kept him from pressing his palms to those temptingly soft-looking cheeks.  Jinki saw his hesitation and Jonghyun melted under the smile the older man offered him.  That gave him the courage to close those few inches and cradle Jinki's face.  Jonghyun moved his left hand down the other's cheek to trace the attractive smile-lines around Jinki's mouth.  Jonghyun lost track of time as he lightly ran his fingers across the soft skin.  He was enchanted by the sensation and by the beauty of the man himself.

"I feel something." Jinki whispered.  Before Jonghyun could panic fully, he grabbed the others hands and placed one atop his chest, where his still-heart rest. "Here." He smiled, hoping Jonghyun understood.  He took the other one and placed it atop of his abdomen, the touch not quelling the butterflies but increasing their intensity.  "And here."

For a split second Jonghyun thought the worst, but the look in Jinki's eyes erased all doubt.  Jonghyun completely understood what the other meant, because he too felt the same.  The warmth of Jinki's eyes was almost suffocating, Jonghyun blinked rapidly and laid his forehead against Jinki's chest.  The older man released Jonghyun's hands, still on Jinki's chest and stomach, and brought his arms up around the smaller man to pull him closer.  

Jonghyun always longed to be accepted, that's why he tagged along with a bunch of stragglers,  but never in a million years did he imagine this happening.  He felt undeserving, but this warm, secure feeling being in Jinki's arms was too good to let go.

-  
-

'Annoying' Jonghyun thought as he watched Jinki laugh with the others.  He stabbed the stick he was holding into the dirt and glowered.  'So annoying.'  Jonghyun didn't want the others to hate him, but he wasn't ready to interact with them either.  He didn't want Jinki to be isolated with him and he wanted the older man to enjoy being with the others.  However, Jonghyun also wanted Jinki by him right now.  Was it jealousy or longing he felt?  Jonghyun didn't know, but he knew he was annoyed.  Jinki's face fell when he caught Jonghyun's expression.  Jonghyun stood up off the ground when the older man made his way towards him.  He cut his eyes and walked into the wooded area.

"Hey, Jonghyun?  Wait up.  Where are you going?"  Jinki asked as he sped up to catch the other.  Jonghyun continued to walking through the trees until Jinki caught a hold of his arm.  The older man flinched when Jonghyun yanked his arm away and spun around.

"What."

"Jonghyun?  What's the matter?"

"Nothing." He deadpanned.  "Go back with the others, I'm alright."

Jinki searched the other's expression and saw anger and sadness in his eyes.  He reached his hand up to touch Jonghyun's cheek, but that too was smacked away.

"Go away Jinki.  Go have fun with the others.  Go away from me."

"Is- is that why you're upset?  Jonghyun I've told the others about you.  Some are scared about what you can do, but they are willing to give you a chance when you're ready I promise."

"I'll never be ready, because I don't want to be with anyone."

"Jon-"

"Do you honestly think I want to be around anyone if I get nothing in return?  I've only allowed you to stick around because of what you can do for me."

"Jonghyun.."

"I'm with you because you're the only one I can touch.  Not because of who you are.  I'm simply taking what I can get.  Aside from that, you're not special to me Jinki."

"Stop Jonghyun."  Jinki pleaded once more.

"If anyone else was immune to my powers, I would feel the same for-"  Jonghyun's rant was stopped once Jinki pulled him forward into a strong kiss.  He knew the other was spitting out words he didn't mean, but the way Jonghyun simply melted against him was the breath of assurance Jinki needed.  He cradled Jonghyun's face as he softened the kiss.  Jinki blinked his eyes open as he slowly pulled away.  His lips quirked as Jonghyun subconsciously inched forward in the space created.

"Don't lie."  he whispered

Jonghyun's eyes watered as he heard and felt Jinki's soft words.  "I'm sorry."  His voice broke as he clutched the back of Jinki's jacket.

"It's okay."

"It's not.  I didn't mean it.  I just-  You need to get away from me Jinki.  This won't be the last time I do this to you."

"I'll be okay." He smiled sweetly.

Jonghyun watched his favorite expression spread across Jinki's face and shook his head.  "I only know how to hurt."  He locked eyes with Jinki, hoping the other would see his truth, hoping Jinki would understand he was simply no good.

"Then hurt me." Jinki quietly responded.  "I can take it."

Jonghyun's brows quivered and Jinki's soft smile remained.

"I promise."  Jinki held on to the white-haired man's shaking body as he cried in the older mans arms.

'It's no use' Jonghyun thought as he finally gave up trying to change Jinki's mind.

 

 

I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
